As the lines between real and fake blur, Americans increasingly chase the idea of authenticity. The first step may be to consider self-knowledge, truthfulness, and other building blocks on the road to personal growth. 
Verified by Psychology Today
Posted September 3, 2023 Reviewed by Gary Drevitch
It’s not uncommon for us to be captivated by the invigorating surge of emotions that comes with the initial spark of passion. This spark can create an intoxicating experience that leaves us breathless and yearning for more. For those well-acquainted with the intricacies of human connection, it’s evident the emotional high during the earliest stages of a romantic bond can markedly differ from the sentiments that evolve as a relationship matures and deepens with time.
Therefore, it is important that we consider an alternate perspective, one that emphasizes the enduring power of stability and the rewards of companionate love.
Companionate love, firmly rooted in stability, shared experiences, mutual respect, and deep understanding, leads to a lasting connection. In a study published in Psychology and Aging, researchers found that spending time with a partner influenced happiness, particularly when marital contentment was robust. Marital satisfaction acted as a shield, counteracting the negative influence of perceived health challenges on daily happiness for both genders, thus underscoring the role of companionate love in preserving well-being within lasting partnerships.
Companionate love ensures that we navigate life’s challenges with grace and resilience. It benefits us in many ways, such as:
Converting passionate love into companionate love involves transitioning from the intense, infatuation-driven phase of a relationship to a deeper, more stable and lasting connection. Here are two ways to facilitate this transition:
A study published in the Journal of Happiness Studies suggests that individuals who consider their partners as their closest friends experience the greatest positive effects on well-being from both marriage and cohabitation.
Treating your partner as a friend means embracing qualities that form the foundation of companionship. Here are a few ways that you can establish a bond of friendship with your partner.
Years of research identify the importance of maintaining connections beyond your romantic relationship. For example, a 2018 study suggests that there is a direct connection between an individual’s level of life satisfaction and two key aspects of their friendships:
Another study published in Social Psychological and Personality Science indicates that having a supportive network of friends, family, or other social connections can help individuals cope better with the challenges and conflicts they face within their marriage. These external connections seem to provide a buffer against the negative effects, such as stress and isolation during marital conflicts that affect overall mental and physical health.
If you are unsure how to strengthen your friendship bonds, consider the following:
While the initial sparks of passionate love are undeniably alluring, they can often distract us from the rewards of stability and companionate love. It may come naturally to some partners but often companionate love requires ongoing effort and a genuine commitment to nurturing your relationship. It’s important to be patient and willing to invest time and effort in a relationship that promises not just momentary spectacle, but a lifetime of warmth and fulfillment.
Facebook image: MAOIKO/Shutterstock
Jourdan Travers, LCSW, is a licensed clinical social worker. She received degrees from the University of Maryland and California State University Northridge.
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As the lines between real and fake blur, Americans increasingly chase the idea of authenticity. The first step may be to consider self-knowledge, truthfulness, and other building blocks on the road to personal growth.
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